‘Dear Abby’ is the name of an advice column written under the pen name “Abigail Van Buren”. In ‘Abby’s column the annoyed, the aggrieved, the anxious, the angry, and the sometimes asinine receive cautiously articulated advice, carefully penned.
Frank Sparaco, Clarkstown Highway Department’s “Confidential Secretary“, has begun his campaign to take control of the Republican Party on September 9th. He has sent out his own annoyed, aggrieved, anxious, angry, and wholly asinine ‘Dear Friends’ email in which it seems incompetent politicians, angst-ridden legislators and an annoying County Executive keep pace with stories of his everyday accomplishments as the self-styled poster-boy of the Republican Party.
The only thing missing in his incautiously, mis-articulated and carelessly penned ‘Email To The People of Clarkstown’ was his previous question as to whether “hating Hasidics was what defines Republicans“. That claim, made during a meeting of the County Legislature, insulted all Republican Party members and caused Lon Hofstein, a candidate in the November election for Ed Day’s former legislative seat, to remark: “I would like to say one thing to Legislator Sparaco, I am a Republican, I am of the Jewish faith and I don’t hate anyone!”.
In his “Dear Friends” email Sparaco warbles that he can no longer support the present Chairman of the Clarkstown Republican Party, Robert Axelrod, because the Republicans “lost their headquarters due to a failure to pay a $100 bill and the Republicans also lost their phone number which they have had for over 20 years”. Sparaco then summarizes his analysis of Axelrod’s competence by writing: “His tenure has been plagued with dysfunction, divisevness (sic) and incompetence.”
Even though Sparaco is a $100,000+ confidential secretary appointed by Clarkstown Highway Superintendent, Wayne Ballard, one has to note that spelling and grammar do not appear to be one of Mr. Sparaco’s core secretarial competencies. Nor does he seem to know his own home address given that the flyer he emailed shows his address spelled as “17 Louise (sic) Avenue”.
Additionally, Sparaco does not seem to understand the difference between ‘plural’ and ‘possessive’ nor between the ‘plural’ and the ‘singular’. He continues by saying: “Under Axlerods (sic) failed leadership the Republican committee has failed to gather the required number of petition signatures” and then he declares that he has stood up against “Governor Cuomos (sic) Safe Act”.
Confusing the plural with the possessive would elicit antipathy to the readers of a ‘Dear Abby’ letter but to confuse the ‘plural’ with the ‘singular’ by claiming as Sparaco does that he has “recruited dozens of committeeman“ (sic) can elicit only apathy from all other than a few ill-educated readers of Sparaco’s ‘Dear Friends’ email. Ironically his mentor, Rockland County Chairman, Vinnie Reda, suffers from the same affliction as the sign in the now apparently abandoned Republican Party Headquarters behind Sparaco’s ambitions reads: Chairmans (sic) Office Private.
Can it get any worse? Of course it can when you are dealing with a “poster-boy” who decides to compare himself with General Patton.
That comparison comes to the “Dear Friends” from a disgraced Republican who supported New Square Democrat, Ilan Schoenberger, for County Executive thus stabbing his Republican colleague, Ed Day, in the back. True to his usual grammatical incoherencies Sparaco made the declaration by saying: “Calling me a disloyal Republican is like call (sic) General Patton Un-American.”
Sparaco’s reference to being a disloyal Republican was detailed by County Executive Day who wrote:
Legislator Frank Sparaco, after being formally challenged and cited by the Clarkstown committee on behavior that included actively working for the opposition during last year’s General Election, chose to resign from the committee instead of answering the charges. Now he is engaging in more conduct that in my humble opinion frankly renders him unfit to be a member of the Grand Old Party. Legislator Sparaco compiled so many misdeeds it defies a count including collecting absentee ballots for David Fried and attacking fellow Republicans in a cowardly manner in social media by using pseudonyms. Of late, he unbelievably and publicly from the floor of the legislature characterized our GOP election campaign of last year as anti-semitic and hateful. He is the proverbial chameleon, talking like a good Republican on one hand while hurting our good name with the other. This cowardly and traitorous conduct continues. Mr. Sparaco chose to spread ill will and negativity about others. His conduct has been outrageous, selfish, self centered, and anti-Republican. It is important that you are all aware of these dynamics so going forward, you can make the judgments necessary to ensure that the strides made in November do not get compromised by the outlandish behavior of one who talks about Republicanism but is actively working for his own self interests and against all of you. We cannot let small, petty and selfish behavior distract from that mission.
General Patton once remarked: No good decision was ever made from a swivel chair” which is where Sparaco likes to command his cowardly and traitorous conduct. From Confidential Secretary Sparaco’s swivel chair in Clarkstown’s Highway Department it is sometimes difficult to find a glimmer of shame that might cloud his otherwise shining putrescence.
Sparaco continues his ‘Dear Friends’ mélange by telling us that, to his great regret and to our overwhelming loss, he cannot run for chairman himself as he is an elected official. However, he informs his “friends” that if they support him he has a number of equally illiterate stooges waiting in the wings who are “willing to step up to the challenge” and ‘front’ the Republican Party on his behalf. This is the modus operandi that Sparaco formerly established for the “corrupt” and “legal-racket” Independence Party.
Finally, to be informed by Sparaco that: “I have spent the last 12 years running the Young Republican Club and I am the youngest County Legislator at 37 yrs old” reminds one of the wise orator, Xenophon. Xenophon once observed that: the praise of youth is difficult for it is based not on achievement but on the hope of achievement.
If that is true, then it is indeed a difficult matter to praise this young disgraced politician because his achievement to date has virtually extinguished all but the most die-hard hope of Clarkstown’s hard-core illiterate. The Italians have an ungracious proverb for the likes of Legislator Sparaco: Tanto buon che val niente – So good, that he is good for nothing.